(Photo of me, credit goes to my wife)

I am a 33 year old transgender step-dad, artist, husband, and writer. My wife is a cis-gender woman, and also an artist and writer. I’ve got three step kids, ages 14, 12, and 8. Since everybody asks about the transgender part, I’ll get it out of the way first.

I’ve been on testosterone approximately three and a half years, and I have had one surgery– a hysterectomy. I had polycystic ovarian syndrome. I’d like to have a double mastectomy and a phalloplasty someday.

This blog is about my struggles with complex post traumatic stress syndrome, and severe depression. Lately, they have been getting particularly bad– to the point where I decided to seek unusual and creative ways to combat them. I found a blog about an artist with similar problems to me. The way he dealt with his severe depression sounded like something I’d like to try– he personified his depression and talked to it. It appealed to me because simply fighting depression wasn’t working. I thought maybe if I ‘sat down and spoke to it,’ that I could get to know it. Maybe war wasn’t the answer. Maybe we could learn to live with each other. It sounded like a way to maybe separate myself from It, and one day, ask it to leave. So– yes, this blog is unusual. Everything in it is true, and I hope to learn about myself as I go along.